{"id":350,"date":"2009-01-03T21:05:58","date_gmt":"2009-01-04T04:05:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/?p=350"},"modified":"2009-01-03T21:05:58","modified_gmt":"2009-01-04T04:05:58","slug":"humanity-the-mystique","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/humanity-the-mystique\/","title":{"rendered":"Humanity & the Mystique"},"content":{"rendered":"

I finally finished Betty Friedan\u2019s The Feminine Mystique<\/a>. I don\u2019t believe that I\u2019m overstating when I say that this book has made an impact on my life greater than any other work of non-fiction I\u2019ve read. I found myself amazed, shocked, confused, and simultaneously enthralled at various points in time.  I think that is mostly because it led me to question my own beliefs and upbringing. It also made wonder at the experiences of my mother and grandmothers.  Would they find themselves summed up in Betty\u2019s words? Would they agree that they have suffered through the trials and tribulations of being \u201conly a housewife\u201d, never free to become themselves? Would they see the same effect of the mystique on their children and grandchildren as Betty does? I can only wonder at this point. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The women who raised me were not feminists, nor were the men. In fact homophobia, sexism, and racism are all not-so-subtle ingredients in my family stew. But somehow I came out thinking that all people should be treated equally, as humans, despite any sociopoliticalgenderwhatever differences that may exist. I got lucky in that regard. I\u2019ll be the first to admit that I\u2019m not perfect in that respect; unfortunately there are old attitudes and prejudices that have yet to be eradicated which occasionally catch me unawares. I think that\u2019s why feminism has always held some fascination for me because it\u2019s something I feel like I know nothing about. Am I a feminist? I don\u2019t honestly know\u2026<\/p>\n

Being raised in the Midwest, coming of age in small-town Southern Illinois, and then being educated as an engineer in a Midwestern state-run college really didn\u2019t afford me much of an opportunity to explore the classics of feminist literature.  At least they were never encouraged or seen as important to many who educated me.  I\u2019ve dated women who would call themselves feminists and I feel like I\u2019ve gotten to know bits and pieces about the philosophy from them. And I\u2019ve had several friends who would certainly call themselves feminist, but I felt like it was time to start learning for myself what feminism is.<\/p>\n

My first foray into feminist literature was Bell Hooks\u2019 All About Love<\/u> which was a bad choice; I feel like it taught me little and I came away unsatisfied.  Grabbing hold of The Feminine Mystique<\/u> was exactly the opposite; it relates (ad nauseum) the experience of women Betty encountered in the 60s who were suffering from some unexplainable malady. The \u201cproblem with no name\u201d, as she called it, had its roots firmly in the way in which women, subtlety disenfranchised by society, are taught to aspire to be something which does not fulfill the longings and desires of any person.  This mystique sets up false expectations that only let down those which pursue it.  Chiefly, it teaches that being a housewife should be enough to satisfy any woman and that, if you\u2019re not satisfied in that role, there must be something wrong with you as a woman.<\/p>\n

Betty goes on to spend the majority of the book picking apart the mystique, identifying several places where it has had an impact on the American woman, and her husband, her children, her sex life, her sense of self, her purpose in life. I found it depressing thinking that this was the true lives of people just like my mother and grandmother.  Moreover, it left me thinking that my sister, cousins, nieces could potentially be subjected to similar undermining and subtle messages from our society that could lead them to a similar self-image and criticism today.  Has the Feminine Mystique passed us by, or is just as real today as it was in 1963?<\/p>\n

I know that I see the effect of the feminine mystique in my own life, from my relationships with girlfriends to how I was raised and loved by my family. I think the book provides some powerful insight into the relationships we have with all of the women in our lives. By way of abstraction, I think it speaks more about humanity than it does women alone. The central message to me was that all humans absolutely must be free to pursue and excel at something <\/em>for which they have passion, no matter what it is.  I think the secondary message to me was that living your life for someone or something else can never lead to true happiness; happiness cannot be found by living through the lives of others. You absolutely must live your own life following your own passions and pursuits.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think I have a lot of insight other than that; I feel like I\u2019m still processing it all.  Now I need to drive into my next work of feminist lit.  Suggestions?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I finally finished Betty Friedan\u2019s The Feminine Mystique. I don\u2019t believe that I\u2019m overstating when I say that this book has made an impact on my life greater than any other work of non-fiction I\u2019ve read. I found myself amazed, shocked, confused, and simultaneously enthralled at various points in time.  I think that is mostly … Continue reading Humanity & the Mystique<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[203,6],"tags":[204,23,205,207,206,119],"class_list":["post-350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-review","category-personal","tag-bookshelf","tag-family","tag-feminism","tag-humanity","tag-mystique","tag-review"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=350"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kmwoley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}